Book Review: Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

If the title of this post grabbed your attention, that means that author Jason Pargin, AKA David Wong, did his job. Despite the low-brow title, Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is a bitingly smart work of speculative fiction that fully displays why David Wong is one of my favorite writers in the genre.

Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is the sequel to Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. It’s a story ofa young woman who finds herself on one side in a turf war with a nameless horde of embittered adolescent males and their corporate sponsors. Set in Tabula Ra$a, a futuristic city where capitalism has run amok, Zoey is a recently anointed CEO of some of the most profitable business in city. If you’ve read the first book, you’ll know that she wound up in this position after her estranged father bequeathed his entire fortune and company to her. Despite not knowing anything about her father (her conception resulted from a one-night stand with a stripper), she becomes one of the most wealthy and influential people in the country, overnight.

In addition to the business, Zoey also inherits her father’s enemies. Ex business rivals of her late father pump money into sowing discord amongst the populus. In addition, a segment of the population isn’t so happy to see such a prominent figure replaced by someone who is so young and even worse, female.

Corporate greed, toxic fanboys, and modern ethical dilemmas collide to provide gripping adventure for Zoey, her beloved cat “Stench Machine” and the “Suits”, an elite group of bodyguards and handlers that watch over her.

Why I like this book

Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick a smart take on growing issues. David Wong envisions a world which might be considered a libertarian’s paradise. Inside the city of Tabula Ra$a, there is no centralized government or criminal justice system to speak of. The richest flock here and make money off of those who are willing to dispense it for whatever base urges can possibly be catered to.  Think Las Vegas on steroids. You can pay someone just to watch a movie and cuddle with you, or if you are connected and have the money you can get superhuman cybernetic modifications.

It’s a cyberpunk setting that does exactly what cyberpunk is supposed to do. The world seems oppressive, lustful, and degenerate, but never boring; the sort of world that you don’t want to be a part of, but can’t look away from. And, the world makes it easy for you to look: There are cameras everywhere that can be accessed by nearly anyone on an open network. 

David Wong’s writing shines, both with his wit and his observational prowess. The celebrated regular contributor to cracked.com and author of the John dies at the End series continues with his talent for situational comedy. As a speculative writer, he’s able to see the obvious rising concerns (an increased societal emphasis on beauty and narcissism) as well as issues it’d be difficult to see coming (increased longevity leading to an organ donor shortage?) His writing is engrossing regardless of the story.

Your expectations will be played with through and through. Not only does the story take you for a loop time and time again, you’re also rewarded for understanding the general formula for some tropes. Without ruining anything, the last few chapters have a great recurring gag involving cannibalism that made me vocally laugh.

Zoey is a great character to see this world from. We’re taken along with her from the outside, bringing a sense of morality to this depraved city. Her conflict is not only those who wish her harm, but also with her handlers who are only interested in maintaining the status quo. You might be tempted to think that Zoey lacks agency in this story, but her struggle always lies in gaining it. 

Criticisms

Because of Wong’s ability to relate to others, you may get a sympathetic view of a type of person you find despicable. Some may not appreciate the moral relativism. 

Should you get this book?

Absolutely. Buy this book and marvel at a world that isn’t what I’d call a dystopia, but rather an even more absurd, yet conceivable version of the world which we currently live. If you can’t play Cyberpunk 2077 because it keeps glitching on you, read this instead.